Where is Home?

Of course I'm talking about the student here who has chosen to live at another location for university. See people often say phrases like 'Home is where you heart is" etc. In other words if it feels like home, it is home. I'm guessing this is actually quite a common problem among students that travel between two living sets of living arrangements. Those with your parents, friends at home etc and those with your flatmates and friends at uni. Soon after going to uni, it may be common to call both home.
The problem comes is when your in one and miss the other. When I'm in Birmingham and can't sleep due to my flatmates talking loudly (my bedroom being next to the living room, lucky me) or I can't sleep because my bed isn't comfortable, I have work to worry about or, for no reason at all as far as I'm concerned, I just can't sleep and missing my boyfriend. So I wish i was at home (I used to sleep better at home).
However when I am at home which I also can't sleep now, again for some unknown reason. And I'm in an environment where I am not surrounded by people who are inconsiderate. I have less friends near my parents house not counting my boyfriend and I start to miss the friends in Birmingham and the different style of lifestyle. So the question arises now, where is home? My 'heart' is certainly not in either of these places as much as it is in these places.
For me, the most comforting thing to do is be a guest. Around my boyfriend's parent's house I do not feel like I need to belong as if it was my own home as it is not my home. I cant relax and accept that I am a guest and then I can accept this temporary arrangement. For my real question though I have no answers.

Rudeness (My drug)

Hello Blog. I know since I've started you a long long time ago I neglected you. Well not this time, I'm determined to keep going. Anyways to get to the point...
Rudeness. I would never move if someone sat next to me on a train or a bus. No matter how much luggage they have, how they looked, how inclined they were to talk to me when i didn't feel like talking to a stranger (though normally talking to strangers can be interesting when travelling), whether they smelled or whatever reason. However clearly other people feel differently even when they have only one more stop to go I found out on my journey from Luton back up to Birmingham today.
I guess i could say I exercise perhaps other types of rudeness, but only when I feel necessary. Though to be honest I wouldn't call it being rude, more direct, to the point. Ah what the hell, I love saying things that shock people... those awkward silences where the other person is stumped is secretly my drug. Not that mentally healthy I suppose but hey, who is? Like the other week my flatmates sat in the living room discussing how they think age gap relationships are wrong with more than a two year difference in front of me. It gave me great pleasure to stand there and say "My boyfriend's 23 on Tuesday" (I'm 18). Though I don't believe they really care too much about offending me, so it wasn't that awkward (unfortunately... I would have liked some awkwardness at least for calling my boyfriend a perv). But there you go.
As you can see, that's a perfectly justified reason for my directness. My friend Franco the other day said I do not respect authority as I will be just as direct with lecturers. But that's not true, I respect lecturers if they give me reason too, and behave like one. Besides the particular seminar tutor we was talking about is honestly a bit of an attention seeker, constantly telling us how rich he is, and how he loves to make fun of people. I'm sorry this person expects respect? I know after saying that you think my friend was right? I love to just make him know he's not the only person in the room. and to be honest, I think we now have some mutual respect for voicing opinions. (Additionally the rest of the class seems to be quite scared of him, perhaps someone talking back makes him more accessible?) Don't get me wrong though, I know still what he says, goes.
Anyways stop me before I rant on more. I'll save more for another day.

The Dumps

As much as you probably think uni students have a reputation for living in a dump I'd like to say, this isn't true for all of us. Especially those with a tad bit of OCD (yes myself included... as if you hadn't guessed already). However, due to most of our dumpish natures, and believe me, some kitchens which are... well... purely mold! (The other day I saw a completely green keesh, mm, yummy?) We have flat inspections. This is our second one this year.
Unfortunately, due to this being treated like small children who don't tidy up after ourselves, because well, a lot of people don't seem to tidy up after themselves, everyone has to go through the flat inspections, which basically are quite intrusive! Personally I preffer not to have some random person poke around my bedroom! Besides I have to hide innappriate stuff which makes my room very bare... Washing, wine and chocolate body paint, you know the deal (don't judge me just because I have the ability to lock my bedroom door... you know you'd love that too :P). Think mainly I'm getting at the added stress when people have coursework to complete. Still, all of the fun of living in halls :P. Next year houses! weee!
Anyways hope you enjoy my rant :P will no doubt be writing soon.

Why I've started blogging

My subject area for this blog is not specific. Infact it is everything for me. I guess I'm using this as a sort of Journal. I've called the blog back and forth not as some sort of sexual innuendo (lol) but as I feel it rather describes what my life has always felt like. At this precise moment I am tired from travelling back from Luton to the halls in where I'm staying in Birmingham. Travelling from seeing my parents this weekend and my boyfriend. Yes this blog is going to be a source of a sad vent for me and whoever is reading this will have to put up with me... or stop reading :P. No pressure.
I am not doing this for any financial gain. I'm not even sure how people can blog for financial gain? Feel free to comment and enlighten me as my friend did not explain earlier when I said I was thinking of blogging as a hobby and he mentioned people doing it for financial gain. I guess more than anything else to fill the space where I'm not sleeping at uni. Which is expecially annoying when I know tommorow is a long day (well as far as long day's go for uni students doing BA courses). Generally a BA course such as English, History, most humanities subjects and philosophy as I am doing has very little contact time, even in the first year of which I am in. I think mine ranges from 9 hours a week to 12 hours a week. Hardly 9 to five :P.
Your probably thinking no wonder I can't sleep! If you've never been to uni you would think perhaps i do not have reason to be tired. Well its not just the hours in, theres hours outside, but as you probably know you can be as lazy or pro active as far as thats concerned. So I'm gonna spill the beans here... I'm a large worrier! So i have to do everything to a large detail. So why can't I sleep here? I have no idea. To tell you the truth as far as speaking to other people around me they all have the same problem.
Anyways to not keep you too long if you have happened to stumble upon my humble blog (yeah... right, you know you loved it ;) especially the part about the sexual innuendo) I'm planning to keep posting, going to post about my course, what I read and what films I see and whatever issues that crop up! so... keep reading :P



About Me

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I am a student currently at the University of Birmingham, my home town being Luton of which I still visit alot even though I'm at uni. As far as really about me, I'm quite outspoken and will always give you my honest opinion however this usually ends up with me putting my foot in my mouth. Honestly... if you find me mean I don't mean to be, I'm a softy really :P